It's such a strange mix of emotions and memories he has now. He was in Darrow for all the things Joyce has lived through, but he remembers it now, too. At the time, he's sure it seemed like the right choice, jumping into the gate. There had been no way for him to know where he would end up or how bad it would all be.

"I'm sorry I was gone," he says. "I know I didn't really spend those eight months in a Russian prison, but being here has given me a lot of time to reflect, too."